The Half Moon

Liz Phair is my loop for today. Extraordinary. I used to loop it back in a certain period of time, so playing it again today in a long time takes me way back. I would say that my sweet tooth cravings were quite satisfactory today. I wish that was good... Chocolate milk, a lollipop, and a packet of chocolate coated peanuts...and some more chocolate--how swell. Oh well. Today was my chill day. It's crazy under the covers frankly. The busyness in the week may have seemed to keep me occupied but other than that it's a choice i have made. I've said 'no' more than i can keep track of now and i rephrase that it's not as easy as it seems. Sounds easy, no? Just decline. Say, 'no'. No.
No, it's not that easy. Hasn't been. At least for me. These days i may seem cold hearted to those who do not know me. Or perhaps i have not really let in. Cold? Because i keep saying 'no, thanks'.

I am quite happy with my life right now.
If everything had to lead to complications then maybe i know better than where to be taking my next steps. It's harsh. I'm not afraid but ego doesn't count for courage. If it was meant to be, time will find its pace.

I watched a really good movie yesterday, 'The American History X'. It's an old movie but it portrays the issues of racism and aesthetic human values of family, community and country (in global terms). Catch it if you haven't already.

Somehow the imagery of giraffe prints in watercolor sends a familiar feeling of a childhood. Now this brings me back to one splendid evening in the neighbor's backyard; playtime with the kids next door seemed almost routine. It was dusk but the sun was still hovering over the vanishing point of the sea. The evening sunlight; beautiful. We were in our own worlds. On top of a small boat that was turned upside down; maybe that day we were pirates fighting a battle for sand dollars. But for one, the ray of sunlight that pierced through the branches of the old rooted seaside tree that stood like a giant oak was immaculate. It wasn't an oak. It was a giant tree. At least it was at the age of 6. It landed just on our playground haven. It felt like a blessing with patches of shades around. Like we were the heroes in our own little world. Even as pirates. We were going to save the turtles and build castles and perform jellyfish offerings to the sea. Those were the days.

Judge me, this soul that is a life too. But what are thee, if not human too?