Picking Up Stardust.

The days they only exist in moments we call 'now'
Yesterday was a dream, tomorrow is a vision
And yet the beauty of memories and dreams lives on.

I wish understanding were enough.
These moments are fragile
I wish i could hold onto them long enough
But tomorrow becomes today
And later becomes now
Yesterday is a distant; a memory.

Overlooking the view from raised grounds
I tap into a moment lost in time
Feelings came rushing in as though they never left
And it felt like just yesterday;
Embraced in good times
And security you wished never let go of you.

One by one, i cut these ties that bind me
Before it is too late
Before it becomes a part of me;
A liberating pain.

It's so easy to say things;
To tell someone what they need to do or should;
To say that this is right and that is wrong;
To condemn; to justify; to find fault;
But what comes next is more than breathing into the air;
Carve ye' thy words out of air?
Or breath ye' forgotten dust into the wind?

New faces fill the days as the moon slowly reveals itself by night
Early dawn when life is still,
The moonlight is a whisper in the breeze;
An eerie longing of a door that leads to a past;
And the shadows cast are nostalgic;
Secrets lie behind those shadows.

Life has been a misunderstood beau;
My muse has gone on vacation
And i stand alone with what's left of her nurturing.
She's smiling from an unmeasured distance
As i tremble for the words
And attempt to bridge meanings;
To look for inspiration in the foggy mirror of dawn;
Or dreams that have seeped into my pillow covers at night;
Or poems that are left by the stain of lip gloss on my early morning milk mug;
I search and I search,
And I am weary.
I'm still searching.

-25.09.07-

Magical Dusk.

Moments of sound and music;
Of space and time; Of emotions;
Of events and memories;

Dusk sets in
The piano keys tap into a memory
The breeze takes me way back
And the glory of the sky is a yearning for hidden tears

Forbidden love;
Decisions made by the way of life;
Inevitable but unavoidable.
The search for sanity and the flow of meaning;
But neither is the result of an attempt.

It does not make sense does it?

I am merely attempting to express myself. The gloom and doom that i feel. The joy and sparkles that i breathe. The smell of memory and yearning. The sensation of desire. The many pondering of daily life. Yes, the inevitable and the unavoidable. The reasons and consequences.

. . . . . . .

It hurts, it hurts
Emotional pain that feels so real
That binds your breath
And aches your chest
Got you gasping for sense and reason
Like your breath you can't seem to find.

Its a wonder this bliss
Of gratefulness and unuttered joy
A senseless euphoria;
You hold onto like your breath
Taking in every delight
Like an infinite moment.

A strange and achingly beautiful part of being human

Sweet Cravings + Reality.

. . . . . . .

Life has been swiftly moving forward.
Having no classes on Wednesdays makes it feel like the week is shorter.
I am closely attached to papers and my blue pencil. Not one day goes by without the word 'Trailer'. The enthusiasm is a candle burning in the dark 'till dawn.
And falling sick only reminds me that I'm human too.

Towards the end of the week I guess my body just had enough; it's been screaming 'rest!' ever since i caught the flu more so;
So the last two days I've been able to fall asleep without waking 'till the next day.
Can't describe more; it only paints a picture of an over-done workaholic.
-___-
But the week has been pleasant in some ways. Subtle thrills as I may call them; adding colors to my canvas. It's funny how some things you thought you left far behind can still catch up to you; perhaps something you've let go of.

Have a good weekend, peepz!

C h e e r S !

Criss Cross Rain.

An unfinished feeling...

10.09.07- Unwell and annoyed. Useless cravings of sweet things; I steal a bite of chocolate but taste nothing. The hush-hush excitement burning anxiety. September breezes and freak wind storms. I have so much and yet nothing to say. I want to be filled with that feeling again. It's so far.

This is one of the many unpublished drafts and incomplete post...heck, bon apatite*

. . . . . . . . . .

There stood Will and Desire;
In a world where dreams are made destinations and pleasure unlimited stops;
The thought that is cast out loud belongs to you, belongs to me.

This could go on forever. If only it made sense. Be it one phrase or a whole page. There I stood in all of bleakness. For some I would see colors and the unbent will to be different and stand out from a crowd. For others it is a reality of black and white, for good and evil, for sorrow and joy, for suffering and pain, for happiness at the cost of another's misery. But for one person's thoughts echoing out loud; be you the audience, or be you in my moccasins.
It was unplanned for. But at a moment like this I was not to pass a night out on the road. With company I delighted and the ambiance I sought. The speed started accelerating and being at the back seat somehow I felt fear. The power of unchallenged swift beckons fault. I could only pray that the wheel was still sane. But I could not deny that I too felt the angst of the driver that night. Reaching our desired stop; anticipation and observation. And walking with my guard up and feeling all eyes averted towards the moving crowd of four, each step was taken in poise. It was a moment of blending into the scene and of insecurity. It was a moment of stepping into the third person's watch and judging. It was a moment of seeking temporary certainty. If I were to sit and surround myself with conscious walls I would perhaps say that the atmosphere was superficially disgusting. But to be part of the crowd and assert your own existence whether the world around you is shut or whether you stand on a stage is an opposing stance. To be or not to be?
The beats just filled my veins. But consciousness brings me back like awaking from a dream where you dreamt of waking up but you're only dreaming of waking up; and it goes on and on.

. . . . . . . . . . .

Chipped Polish + Fever.

Golly. I think i've had enough of house music for now; the beats are still ringing in my head. My weekend has been infused with the cold. I caught the flu and was down with a fever yesterday. I felt i wasted most of the day and even then i couldn't be spared with proper rest due to the nightmares about work that need be done! Sheesh. But i felt much better after some herbal tea prior to dinner. And seriously after, I was on a working high -__-" Worked on some drawings 'till 4am....zzzz...
And surprisingly i woke up quite refreshed this morning and ready to tackle on more work! I just finished one assignment a while ago so i was thinking of watching a movie for a break =p

Tee-hee~*

My blogging juice is just at a low drive...but i still felt like spilling some bits.

Cupcake, anyone?

Cherry Blossom Blisters Under Velvet Skies.

Never get wasted on a weekday--especially when there's class in the morning.
I was practically moving on a high throughout the whole day with just one hour of sleep.

Class was interesting today;
Kaifan falling in love at first sight;
Kun-kun telling me that milkshake is milk that you just shake--kau kau -__-;
John trying to be funny;
Nishii playing reverse psychology...;
and me thinking they've all gone insane.

I Love You-ness.

Listening to: Beautiful World -Coldplay
Feeling: Strange

Now playing: Trouble -Coldplay

The air is humid. It's been raining the past few days. Still, I wake up fresh and dress to embrace the cold. I think i over-use the word 'weird'. I love it secretly for it's the one word i can think of to describe my bubbling euphoria of curiosity and excitement. But note that such events that occur aren't always good; yet the thrill of the unknown and unfamiliar is a beautiful weird thing at an angle. Honestly, it's only a matter of time before i turn to my expressions.

There has been a lot of tiny pleasant moments that we could simply overlook, but i guess part of being neurotic and highly sensitive makes me aware of such things (ha-ha--why couldn't i just say 'being grateful?'). It's just a matter of how you deal with things and how you make of it. There has been frustrations and distance i cannot comprehend. But at some point it seems only fair to suggest balance. Haven't you had days were things were just too good for some time it just felt dull? Well not that i would be complaining; after a lot of drama you would enjoy the stillness. But there is only so much sunshine you could take before you start to burn and wished for drops of cooling rain. Well same goes for the matter the other way around; when life seems bleak and your sole mission is to get by the days just one at a time, a carefree sunny day is only in a prayer.

Personally, it's been weird. An addictive kind of weird. Its like walking side by side with uncertainty for so long it would be peculiar not to have that dose of uncertainty. Just enough to aid the certainties, no? I mean hey, it would be a bit dull if you were certain of everything, no?

There are two things certain in life (apart from death & taxes); uncertainty & change.

Currently my concerns are divided between my work and my social circle . Time, time, time. If i said yes to every single demand that would leave me weary and practically lifeless even through all the 'busyness'. But what i choose to say 'yes' or '' to is another matter. Decide on what's more important--of course, if only it were that easy. What if you had 20 important people in your life and you had to fit each one into your schedule? Maybe if you had unlimited resources...perhaps possible. But there's only so much time, money, and energy that always seem to be an excuse for inconveniences . Lalalala~*

On another page:

'Our movie trailer should be rated-T.'
'T?'
'Yah, teen-rated. T-E-E-N.'
'Oh?'
'T-rated for small violence, small politics, small s**.'

C h e e r S

When rain tastes like vanilla and the sun shines sugar rays

Say Ok is such an emo song right now

It's a crazy high on work; i feel mischievous

I can't believe the last lines i spoke to a friend before...